dancing dialogue

here are a few definitions on my mind this week...

dialogue: 1. a conversation between two or more persons 2. an exchange of ideas or opinions on a particular issue, esp. a political or religious issue, with a view to reaching an amicable agreement or settlement.

conversation: informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words, oral communication between persons.

a few words caught my attention. INTERCHANGE and EXCHANGE.

i wonder if the christian community (and myself) might look at these words again and evaluate our use of them. that sounded arrogant, and i don't mean it to be... but really, i wonder if we're very good at conversation and dialogue. i'm worried we've traded them in for discourse or debate or argument.

what if we aren't good listeners sometimes? what if we get louder to make a point? what if we don't give the other party a chance to speak because we worry listening is weak or we're threatened by what someone may say? i worry we've disguised our fear of conversation and dialogue with words like "boldness" and "evangelism techniques." many, in the name of boldness use a bullhorn on a street corner or talk TO a person rather than WITH them. maybe its not because we're bold but because we're timid. too many "techniques" (what a funny word to use when talking about the good news of Jesus) trap people or talk them into a corner (not all of course). they sound rehearsed because they are, which doesn't come off as very genuine.

i'm reminded of an idea in one of my favorite books. the author says inviting someone into the kingdom is more like a dance than a wrestling match. in a dance you give and take, step and pause, you make eye contact, and you're careful with the other person. and a forced dance is called assault. a wrestling match pulls, grimaces, strains, and forces one to submit. in a wrestling match there's a winner and a loser. i think a dance may be better.

more thoughts on dialogue later...